Monday, April 18, 2011

First BiMonthly "Diagnose Me" Contest

Hypochondriacs live a fulfilling and rich life. Fantasies are good for the creative mind. Fantasizing about disease and death create neural pathways that connect the left-brain (more analytic side) and the right-brain (the creative side). Hypochondriacs, by in large, have a higher intelligence quotient than non-hypochondriacs. Though this information is not researched, it is proven by the opinions and anecdotal evidence of my hypochondriac sister, mother and myself.

In light of this evidence, I thought we could all participate in a brain-stimulating activity that is good for all of our health. The Diagnose Me contest will begin with a few symptoms, and will add symptoms as they arise. Your job will be to guess the corresponding illness. The worse the diagnosis, the higher your points. The correct diagnosis, however, wins. (The rationale behind the scoring need not be explained and might only be understood by those of equal or greater intelligence than the judge.)

Caveat 1: Self-Diagnostics is a medical craft that can only be certified by an accredited foundation. However, lay practice can never hurt.

Here is your first challenge:

Patient: Dave
Profile: 38 year old, male. Married. Father of Two. Photographer. Technical Writer.
Symptoms: Numb foot for two days. Tingling hand. Both right side of body.
Potential causes: Tick bite, one week prior to onset of symptoms.

Diagnose Me!

Leave your diagnoses in the comment box. Winner will be declared after Dave consults a licensed physician. 


  1. Lyme disease with chronic neurologic symptoms, including polyneuropathy (numbness and tingling). Why do so many people complain about Wikipedia being unreliable??

    Or, he could be sitting on his hands Indian-style too long at Starbucks.

    One of those.

  2. oh crap melinda....that sounds plausible!!!!!

  3. I agree Lymes Disease but is the note of a tic bite a diversion... Are we allowed to do an online search... ?

  4. yes, research is acceptable. dave has not actually seen a doctor yet, though. he got a friend to write a script for antibiotics, so there is no telling. the numbing is still continuing...

  5. Hi Sarah,

    Just looked you up to see what you are up to. Is Dave Okay? Does he have a rash anywhere or swelling of joints? There are two other parasites that a tick carries, though the mainstream docs will probably never figure that out! Check out Igenex on line as they have the best testing for Lyme. Been through the exact same thing. NO fun. I will keep Dave in my prayers.